Why You Should Run When They Say ‘You Deserve Better’
If they say, “You deserve better,” believe them
When you put your heart out there to someone, you can only hope they treat it with care. But the reality is that it leaves you defenseless and unprepared for what is to come.
More often than not, things never turn out the way you planned; and more often than not, you have to learn that lesson the hard way — the gut-wrenching, soul-crushing, painfully hard way.
Rejections come in all different forms, but with enough experience you can start to spot them faster regardless of how beautifully they may be dressed up.
“You’re one of the most amazing, talented, and beautiful people that I’ve ever been lucky enough to cross paths with.”
Wait for it.
“Any woman would be the luckiest in the world to have you by her side.”
Here it comes.
“In that respect, I genuinely feel that you deserve better than what I’m able to give at this time in my life.”
There it is.
For most of my dating life, hearing any variation of “you’re a great guy, but…” or “you deserve better” felt like a slap in the face. It’s like hearing you’re the perfect cup of tea, but they drink coffee. It took years to realize that instead of wishing to be coffee, it was better to find people who liked tea.
No matter how someone may phrase it, if you hear some variation of, “You deserve better,” you should be ready to turn a shoulder and run the other away. Because whatever the reasoning is behind their claim, it speaks volumes about who they are as a person.
They could be saying it because they want out of the relationship and want to cushion the blow as much as possible. But if someone cannot be open and honest with you, then you really have no business being in a relationship with them.
They could be saying it because they genuinely don’t feel good enough for you. But if someone cannot work on trying to better themselves, then you really have no business being in a relationship with them.
If someone believes you are “too good” for them and truly cares for you, they will use it as motivation to be a better partner for you — not as an excuse to let you go.
Popular belief says that every relationship has a “reacher” and a “settler” within it, which would mean that someone would have to be “too good” for the other. But the fact is that being “too good” for someone is almost always subjective.
One person could have a better education, a better job, and a more stable personal life, but there are more important things in life than the degrees on your wall and the amount of money in your bank account. Having any of the aforementioned boxes checked also does not necessarily make someone a better potential partner in a relationship.
Having an education does not necessarily mean you can hold a meaningful conversation or effectively communicate your feelings with someone else. Having a six-figure salary does not necessarily mean that you are a decent human being. Having structure in your life does not necessarily mean you are willing to put someone else’s needs before your own.
Whatever the reasoning is behind their claim, by saying “You deserve better” they are either trying to tell you that they don’t want to be with you or that they are willing to let you go, and you shouldn’t hesitate to walk — or run — away from someone who would do either one.
You should be with someone who is constantly working at being the best possible version of themselves at all times. You should be with someone who pushes you to do better for yourself. You should be with someone you can grow with, and who wants to grow with you.
The most successful relationships are the ones where all parties involved feel like they’re the “reacher” — and never stop reaching.
